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13 Jul 2012


Recently I read an article about cats and men. I have read similar articles before and been asked about it in an interview once. It is only recently that I have been exposed to a more broader and worldwide audience that I have been privy to these thoughts: that a man owning a cat means something. I dont really understand but feel I should have my say.

   These articles and thoughts usually run along the lines of men who like cats are either less of a man, gay or suffer a void because of the cat present in his life. I really dont know where this comes from and have never in my life heard about it until like i said recently. So whats it all about? I would like to address a few things. I am a peace loving man who loves cats and cooes at kittehs. I love cats they love me back. They are untrained, wild animals that don't take shit. They don't bow down to you, they dont do as they are told they rarely learn tricks to appease you and they wont come when they are called. Would you respect a human that did any of those? A friend maybe, but a  lover? A hero in a film? No way. I love kittens. So what kind of man am I? Well, if I saw you hurting a cat I would have no problems with stabbing you in the face repeatedly with the nearest sharp object and stamping on your neck repeatedly until someone either dragged me off or I became too tired. I would probably piss on your stump and set fire to you and drag your corpse around on the back of a truck drinking strawberry milkshake and wearing a cat t-shirt whilst listening to Chris Isaak.  That's the kind of person I find animal lovers to be though. I very rarely meet anyone in the UK that wouldn't react in some way like that to dicks who hurt animals.

    And who are these people that stupidly assume that because you say you love cats you cannot like dogs? What fucking drooling buffoon assumes that a coffee lover does not like tea? What kind of mouth breathing tawpie thinks that because you dont do drugs you cant think they are a good thing? People are often very small minded this way and out culture has been bred to think that you have to take sides that its either coke or pepsi, slipnot or korn, lady gaga or madonna...well fuck them, be a more complex human for fucks sake, be a complete human and stop denying yourself great loves and likes because advertising has taught you to.

   I love dogs too- when I see a dog I smile- its hard not to- they are so friendly and loyal and they see the world as a place where they can be free and if taught right, to give everyone love. Cats are like this too- the problem with most people who anthropomorphize cats is that they think they are the center of the universe and cats should know this, you are not, and they don't. Animals aren't here for your enjoyment, you should feel fucking privileged that animals, the only creatures on this earth that aren't fucking it up, are giving you even a second of their time. People who dislike cats often project their nature onto them, so when you hear someone say cats are sneaky, you know they have issues with sneakiness and I wouldn't trust that human. Ask a psychologist if you don't believe me. Even the most wild cat I have had the patience to make friends with. This is not your world and these are not your toys to please you. So when you get all pissy about a cat not paying you attention or wanting to play with you, don't think the cat insolent or rude, try instead thinking how fucking engorged your ego must be to demand that from an animal that needs nothing to do with you.

   Makes me wonder what kind of person thinks that if you have a cat you must be gay. Whats wrong with being gay exactly? Why does that mean anything at all in this day and age- you must be one of those people that think you are better than others for the simple reason you are different than others. Dick.
  So when you ask what kind of man loves cats I can tell you: A man who loves animals, a man who is caring to those less than him, an artist, a writer, a mechanic, a family man, a kite maker, a bank clerk, a sad man, a happy man, a straight man, a gay man, a strong man, a weak man, a funny man, a serious man, a dedicated man, a silly man, a tall man, a short man, a computer technician ...are you getting the point here?

   so what kind of person is a person who assumes something about someone who owns a cat? Well its a short answer: A presumptions narrow minded dick.

Here are some great photos of some heroes of mine with cats, From Hemmingway To Stephen King, through Poe, Burroughs, Bukowski and Mishima...even Sartre.....

Find many more awesomeness here: http://writersandkitties.tumblr.com/